Akoboba, a beautiful and godly woman, visited my home to share the word of God. She's the kind of woman anyone would consider ideal for marriage. Her powerful message resonated with me, and I listened attentively. After her preaching, I told her something was bothering me, something I’ve carried for years, and I would love to share it with her.
With all joy, she sat on my sofa, leaned forward, and said, “Tell me what’s bothering you, so we can pray about it and change the situation''.
I smiled and told her, “It’s not really a prayer request but an answer to a prayer I prayed ten years ago. As you were ministering, I realized that the answer had just walked into my house.”
Curious and excited, she asked, “What’s the testimony? Please share it with me!”
I hesitated. “I don’t know if now is the best time or if I should say it in church on Sunday.”
She insisted, “Tell me now. I don’t have much time to stay; I still have other evangelism arrangements today.”
“Okay,” I said, “if you insist. Here’s the answer: I don’t need to look any further for a wife. God has revealed to me that you are the mother of my children! You will be my wife. We will have four kids—two boys, two girls—and our home will be like a choir: treble, alto, tenor, and bass in full display.”
As I was still talking, she interrupted me, visibly upset. “What do you take me for?”
I replied confidently, “A wife.”
“Is this what you’ve been rigmarolling to tell me? I came here for God’s work, and you’re here razzing me. Is this how you lure women to bed?”
I said, “No! Not at all.”
“Shut up!” she snapped. “You’re so provoking. I can’t believe I wasted my time here.” She stood up to leave, but I pleaded, “Please don’t go like this. Are you telling me you’re not single?”
“I’m single,” she replied.
“Then why don’t you want to marry me?” I asked earnestly. “I’m not asking to date you. I don’t want to sleep with you before marriage. My spirit has ministered to me to stop all my illicit relationships and focus on building a godly life. I want to join you in evangelism and grow spiritually, but I need a clean slate. Marrying you will help me achieve that.”
She calmed down a little and looked into my eyes. “You can’t marry me,” she said firmly.
“I can,” I insisted.
“No,” she repeated. “I won’t marry you.”
“Why not?” I asked. “If it’s about seeing your pastor or family, I’m ready.”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “The answer is a capital NO.”
I was taken aback. “Fine,” I said. “But if you’re so sure, give me 35 reasons why you don’t want me to be your husband.” I thought it would be impossible for her to come up with 35 reasons, but she didn’t even hesitate.
Here’s what she said:
- I don’t know you well enough.
- You’re too impulsive with your decisions.
- You don’t seem spiritually grounded yet.
- Marriage is not an escape from illicit relationships.
- I came here for evangelism, not matchmaking.
- You’re not my type.
- You might not be ready for the responsibilities of marriage.
- I don’t feel the same way about you.
- I have my own personal goals and vision right now.
- I can’t marry someone I just met.
- Your approach is unsettling.
- I’m focused on God’s work, not marriage right now.
- I need someone who shares the same level of spiritual maturity.
- You’re too forward; it makes me uncomfortable.
- I don’t think we’re compatible.
- Marriage is not something to decide on a whim.
- I need time to discern God’s will for my life.
- You don’t know my story or background.
- I don’t think you’re serious.
- I’m not led by God to accept your proposal.
- You’re not the person I’ve been praying for.
- I have too much emotional baggage to bring into marriage.
- I don’t think we share the same values.
- Your proposal seems more like pressure than love.
- I’ve not seen enough of your character to trust you.
- I need a partner who can handle conflict with wisdom.
- You might not understand my calling.
- Your rush to marry shows immaturity.
- You don’t seem patient enough to wait on God’s timing.
- I need someone who respects my boundaries.
- I don’t think we have the same life goals.
- I’ve been hurt before, and I’m not ready to jump into marriage.
- You seem more interested in the idea of marriage than in me.
- You’re not emotionally stable enough for marriage.
- I’m not ready to settle down yet.
I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say or do. She left, and now I’m sitting here confused.
What do you think, friends? Is she right? Am I wrong for saying what I said? What is happening to me? I need your advice! Where are the pastors in the house and what will you advice me? Could you please advise her for me?
